So last Monday I went to the doctors because I was feeling pretty and low and behold, I test positive for mono.
Fucking wonderful.
What this means id that all the time for the next month or so, maybe more, I will always have a runny nose, sore throat, aching joints and an outrageous headache. And what will have an even bigger presence than all of these things put together will be my fatigue. Since Monday, I'm pretty sure that I've slept for an average of 15 hours a night. Most of the time, that's enjoyable, but 15 hours of sleep isn't enjoyable when you wake up after it and you feel like you just had a 3-hour night of sleep. It's a real let down.
Apparently this is what it will be for the next month. It also means that my rowing career will probably go to shit for about a month as well.
However, what I think sucks the most is something that is sad to realize it matters to me most...
"No drinking for at least the rest of the winter" the doctor says!?!?!?!?
Correct me if my thinking was wrong, but I was counting on drinking to be the only bright spot of my time of sickliness. Might this be the sign that I have a problem? It could be, but if whether or not I'm judged for it, I think I should get a little sympathy; I have needs.
Apparently I wasn't too up to date on my mono knowledge. Apparently it inflames my liver, so something like drinking, which pounds the liver even more, pretty much makes it exponentially dangerous.
BUT, here's my theory. I feel like if I take the rout of reverse psychology, and just get blackout drunk every night (Not just really drunk, like actually blackout), the gratuitous amount of alcohol in my bloodstream will actually destroy the bacteria, curing me.
I just have to sacrifice my liver. And those are a dime a dozen anyway.
This was all a joke by the way, I would never do this. I plan on taking care of myself and getting better.
But if someone out there is willing to sacrifice their liver in the name of science, I feel like this idea is worth a shot.
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