Interview essay Feedback

So I can definitely take away several things from the feedback I got on my interview essay.
1) I should type slower. Apparently I'm most fluent in nonsensical gibberish. So I probably wasted a bunch of my editors' time correcting my grammar and structure mistakes. So it definitely wouldn't kill me to maybe take a little slower while I'm writing or maybe even read it over after I finish writing the whole thing (God forbid).
2) I definitely need to include my research in the draft instead of waiting for the final draft to include the research so I can just bullshit my way through the draft just so I can have something to turn in. Now I'm pretty much left with about twice as much work to do.

I'm coming to a conclusion that I just seem to make things harder for myself that could be so easy. I've always considered writing essays a strong suit of mine. There's probably a lot of simple thing I could be doing to make my life a lot easier and probably be getting better grades while doing it.

Anyways, the feedback was really helpful. I've added some research but I should definitely expand more into it. I've also completely switched from the Faderman method to the Walker method, which I'm happier. It could make for a really great paper.

What I Want as the Interviewer

The interview with my mom went great. It was actually a lot better than I initially hoped it'd be. That's because the interview subject turned out to be completely different than what I planned. My interview turned out to be about discovering the story of someone who had to fight their way out of alcoholism and drug addiction to find a new life for herself elsewhere. This all came from a burning desire to grow up.

Pretty good subject, huh?
I think it's great and I'm really excited to finish my paper on it. But I'd like you to know what I was initially looking for as the interviewer. My initial topic was to find out from someone's personal account of such things, the true effect of the political, social, and cultural movements of the 1960s, mostly pertaining to hippies.

I took a class on the subject my senior year, and I loved it. It was just all so interesting. And it wasn't some dope talking about how sweet following The Dead was. I saw the dark side of the glamorized sixties. I think most people are reluctant to recall the obvious yet somehow neglected events of the civil rights movement and the nixon years. No one wants to talk about social turmoil, political corruption, or, god forbid, mistakes at war. Everyone wants to talk about Woodstock.

I was hoping that that's what I would get from my mom's experiences, but I got something else. Personally, I enjoyed that "something else". I've posted about my mom story before, and whoever reads that can see what an awesome interview that might have been. I didn't get what I initially wanted, but i think I got something better.

My favorite essay is about Brooklyn. Not a shocker.

My essay class has read a lot of "The Best American Essays" this year, and for the most part, I've enjoyed them. There were a few that I found to be boring and sometimes just stupid, but most of them, I could really understand why they were in a book called "Best American Essays". I gotta say that I think my favorite was on called "Brooklyn The Unknowable".

"Brooklyn the Unknowable" was a essay in which the author gave us a narrative of his reflections on his childhood and where he is in life today, and where he stands on the place (Brooklyn) that he grew up. There were a bunch of things I loved about the essay. he points out the hospitality of Brooklyn to far outsiders, while the worst conflicts in Brooklyn come from issues of territory, that often involve places that are a few blocks away from each other. he discusses peoples' fear of Brooklyn, those mostly being people from Manhattan, called the Manhattanites. They are like two different countries that are so close to one another. The narrator himself even got a taste of Manhattan at one point, living there for a short while, and certainly loving it. And even though he swore that he would never go back, he eventually ended up moving back there, just a short distance away from where he grew up. It kinda tells us that no matter how much he want to leave and promise that we will never go back, which most of us do in our teenage years, we will mostly likely end up pretty close to where it all began. 

I especially love his bit on the industrialization of Brooklyn. He says that although it make make more sense to change the low level buildings of Brooklyn and bring more a metropolistic aspect to it, he would regret the loss of the sun. This says so much about the beauty of Brooklyn, and what he has been shaped into because of living in Brooklyn. It was really a great read.